Tuesday, March 30, 2010

Baby Food

Each week we get an update from an online forum telling us what size our growing baby is and what the new developments are for the week (growing liver, kidneys are developing, eye lids are forming, etc). As for the size, we're told things like "Your baby is about 2cm long and weighs about 1oz. That's about the size of a blueberry."

The dilemma I've found myself in is thinking, "Hmm, I haven't had blueberries in a while. I think I'll go get some blueberries." But then when I get the blueberries home I can't not think about eating my unborn daughter when I snack on the berries (or apples, or grapefruit, or cantaloupe, or whatever the food of the week is).

This week's notice says, "The baby is approximately 15.7 inches long and weighs almost 3 pounds (about the size of a head of cabbage)." I'm not at all tempted to go gnaw on a head of cabbage. This week the baby is safe.

Tuesday, March 16, 2010

Funny Phrases

At this time I'd like to share a list of phrases that, four years ago, I couldn't imagine myself saying:

* Girls, stop riding the barn!
* Hey, why'd you flush a whole role of toilet paper?
* No, don't eat the dog food!
* No, I don't want to eat the dog food either.
* You want ketchup on your ice cream? No.
* Would y'all please just stop licking stuff?
* Ok, what I really need from you girls is to just be quiet and let me clean your poop off the wall in peace.
* Time to eat. Get the rocks and sticks out of your diapers.
* Don't bonk your sister on the head with the stick. Or the flashlight. Or the remote. Or the vacuum attachment. You know what? Just sit down on the floor and don't move.
* No, BOGO doesn't want to wear a party dress.
* Don't play with poop. Yours or any other.
* Don't poke BOGO's pocket. (see an earlier post for this whole story)
* Don't pee on me.
* Don't put toys in the speaker hole. (I have a collection of toys retrieved from the sub-woofer that I'm not giving back)
* No, the cable guy does not want to see your panties.
* Yes, I wear big girl panties too. (trying to encourage them to wear their panties instead of diapers)
* Yes, that's my tail. (see an earlier post for this whole story)
* Don't poke the purple pigs.
* Don't leave your sandwich in the van.
* Stop painting the floor with your spit.
* It's a one-seater. Only one of you can sit on the toilet at a time.
* No, thanks. I don't need help in the potty. I'm good.
* Please don't lick the grill.