BOGO's uterine

We got BOGO when he was just a little puppy while we were still students at Harding University. We've had him for about 7 years and have made up stories about him and we've really given him a personality that I think is pretty cool. He says things and goes places and we talk about different things with him. He's not a dog. He's a Canine American.

Anyway, several years ago we got a second dog (named Sakari) who later got a uterine infection. The vet gave us some antibiotics to give Sakari once a day for 10 days. So for 10 days, all BOGO saw was us giving Sakari a treat (with the pill stuffed inside -the only way to medicate a dog) and got jealous. We told him that Sakari had a uterine infection and so the next day he started complaining of a "hurt uterine" so that he could get a treat too. Since that day, he's pulled the "hurt uterine" card a few times to try to get special treatment. It's become such a common topic and part of his persona that we just talk about it openly with him.

Now that the girls are old enough to understand words and pick out parts of our conversations, they're really building a stash of questions of things we talk about.

For example: Just this morning Abigail asked me if BOGO has a bad uterine. I said yes. She looked concerned. I didn't have the heart to tell her that he's fine and that the chronic uterine infections is just a part of the BOGO persona we've made up for him over the years. "Yes" was just easier so I went with it. It made me laugh on the inside.

For men only.

Guys, this is for you.

As the father of three princesses and husband to their Queen, I consider myself the local authority on most things girl. I've done my time playing with hair and having mine decorated with bows and ribbons. I've painted nails and had tea with stuffed animals. I've exchanged outfit after outfit until just the right dress was pulled from the closet. I've sat on the couch during rainy days to watch Enchanted and I can't count the number of times I've seen Tangled. I've brushed sparkly pony hair and commented on how lovely 17 barrettes look in the 4 inches of sparkly pony hair. I've pulled pink doll hair out of my comb after it was used without my consent.

I'd say I know girls fairly well.

Here's my tip, fellas: Girls look beautiful. That's all you need to know and that's all they think about anyway so you may as well tell 'em. Let's all just say it together one time. "You look beautiful." That was fine in practice, but when it's game time be sure to actually look at a girl. No, it doesn't matter how old she is. My experience has taught me that it doesn't matter if she's 2 or 82. It also doesn't matter when you say it. "You look beautiful" gets an all-access pass in any conversation. It's another in a list of three-word phrases to add to your quiver of argument extinguishing arrows. We all know how well "I love you", "I am sorry", "I was wrong", and "You are right" work. (You do know about those, don't you?) Well, add "You are beautiful" to your list.

Several times a day I'm asked, "What do you think of me, Papi?" My answer is always, "I think you look beautiful." That's all it takes to make my girls smile and walk away happy. Sometimes they even ask me several times in a row just to hear me tell them they're beautiful. Do yourself a favor and tell that girl you've been dying to date, your wife, your girlfriend, etc that she's beautiful.

Say it, reap the reward, and thank me later. You're welcome.

Eve, right?

Whenever we go to the grocery store I let the girls pick a piece of fresh fruit for themselves. Today they got apples. They asked right away if they could eat their apples for dessert after lunch and I said, "yes." Elise was the first to finish her lunch and ask for her apple. I gave it to her and immediately she stood up in her chair, stripped off all her clothes, and then sat back down to eat her apple. I just looked at her in speechless wonder and she must've read my mind because she looked back at me and said, "I'm eating my apple with my clothes off like the girl in Bible class." I think she missed the point of the Fall of Man story.

Scaredy Cat

The girls have a pretty wide array of toys. A few times we've taken them to the dollar store or Wal-Mart and let them pick a toy. Each time, though, they decided on one of those little hard plastic animals. Some sort of dinosaur, horse, or other common zoo animal. They like to play with their animals and don't mind that they have duplicates. That just means there's a family of horses or tigers.

A while ago they wanted to give Suzi a toy to put on her desk at work. One girl gave her a tiger and the other a lion. What really made it a special gift was what they said. They gave her the tiger and lion so that she can remember to be strong and brave. That'll preach.

One of my first lessons to a youth group was at a small church in Anderson, SC. I talked about 2 Timothy 1:7. It wasn't a great lesson, but those nice kids didn't know the difference. I remember saying that we shouldn't be scared to be Christians and do what's right. Missed the mark. Not being timid isn't the same as defending your Christianity.

Consider the lion and tiger. I don't equate timidity with an apex predator. Predator. There's a word we're not familiar with hearing in reference to God. Do you actively seek out opportunities to invade ungodliness? I don't. I'm more of a "wait til something happens to me" kind of guy and that just ain't right. We've been given the authority to offend and not back down. We've been blessed with power, love, and self discipline, but are we using it? I want to, but how?

I will pay my bills in person and be the best example of God's love that teller has seen all week.

I will discipline my children and train them according to the Bible.

I will love the unlikeable.

What are ways you plan to be an offensive Christian? Or do you prefer the phrase "predator of ungodliness?" Let me know in a comment so we can share the ideas.